forty four

my sister saw your face buried in the leaves

but i don’t believe her

one day she cried
she saw me walking by your side

but i don’t believe her



it’s been three long years
that you’ve been gone
and three long years
that i’ve been sorry

my sister hold my cold hand
through the wood
and i love her for it
her dark eyes say that she knows
all that i don’t

and i love her for it



the fiery trees
tell me it’s autumn again
and i wish your head
was here on my shoulder

my sister rarely laughs
since you’ve passed
she loved you more than i could
i hold her close
and tell her to let you go
but she loved you more than i could

together we run through the snow
to your little grave
together we say hello
we blow a kiss to your wintery face



it’s been three long years
that you’ve been gone
and three long years 

that i’ve been sorry

it was three quick years
that she loved you
it was three quick years
that you loved me
i’m sorry sister
that i didn’t know
i’m sorry lover
that i said no
we have no time
no time you know

so let’s wait three months

and she’ll be older
and i’ll be wiser
you won't be forgotten
but after the winter
is when all things blossom

Little sisters...

There's a book my small group and I stumbled upon named "Letters to My Little Sisters". It has an incredibly innocent exterior...but what's inside is a whole different story. I'm here to tell you about it.


The first chapter is titled "Self-Image". I definitely groaned as I read this chapter. The first thing the author writes about is how absolutely hopeless young women-NO-all women are. They despise themselves. Ugh. I do know that many women are very insecure when it comes to how they look. But I do know that there are things that women learn to like about themselves! She just made huge generalizations that I didn't appreciate...I mean listen to this:

"'But Jami,' you say,'look at my face. It looks like someone put it together with an egg beater. I'm so ugly that my mom asked if she could have her money back when she first saw me!'"


Oh my gosh. SERIOUSLY? Now, first things first, pretty much ALL newborn babies are pretty ugly. I'm not being mean, it's truth. Second thing, even if I was insecure, would I really think I was THAT bad?!
Then, to make matters worse. She talks about makeup. She says "There's nothing wrong with a little makeup to highlight your natural beauty. A little blush or mascara can work wonders in perking up your face." That is the single, last thing I would ever tell a middle schooler. They don't hear "Yeah, a little makeup's alright" they hear "Put on as much as you want! Go crazy with it!" She then goes on to say "(Don't tell anyone *um too late you wrote it in a book* but my hair isn't naturally curly. I'd look like a Q-tip if I didn't have my permanent)" Two notes on that-#1) This book was definitely wrote in the 80's or 90's-hence the perm. #2) I don't know about you, but that whole Q-tip comment sounds like low self-image to me...

After that, she explains how she tried to be someone else for a man and eventually broke off her engagement to him (jeez, it took her 'til they were engaged to figure that out). Then she says to be content with yourself, because you're God's creation. If I had written the chapter, I would've said that first. And skipped the egg-beater part.

Have a good tomorrow!
Mary Em