christmas eve-eve

christmas eve-eve is my favorite day. i think i might even like it more than christmas day.
it's exciting and relaxing and full of anticipation and chaos and something about it is always perfect.

that aside, this christmas break has been a weird one. i have felt like more like a spectator than a participant. it's weird to be absent from my own home for a long enough time that it makes it strange to come back for more than a handful of days. i guess that is a part of growing up and such. but it's still weird. the weirdest thing about this christmas has been the lack of focus on Christ as a baby. as i have read and prayed and listened to prepare myself for the season, i have been drawn to the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ more than His birth. He became a human child to bring hope to all mankind.
and to die for all mankind.

so i rarely have complete thoughts. today it is worse than usual.
so to distract you from the disjointedness of this post, here is a list of things that i've been taught this christmas season:

my life is not my own
i am loved loved loved
family units are difficult but worth it
love takes work
love is a joy
friends are absolutely priceless
sometimes rest is more important than anything
i have a gentle Father tenderly telling me each day to wait for His Son's return
i am prone to wander
breathing is important
focusing on the root of the problem often soothes tension
we are broken broken broken people
christmas lights are beautiful
christmas music is tacky and perfect
good coffee made by my dad everyday is something i've missed
time is precious
"now" is precious
never ever be afraid to tell someone how much they're worth to you
never ever be afraid to tell someone how much they're worth to Jesus


that's about all.

happy christmas eve-eve.

Christmas.

every year, i have a different Christmas. i know that's a result of passing time and changing experiences. but it still takes getting used to.
this year, i didn't have a very long Christmas season. it really only hit me that it was Christmas a couple days ago. my mind has been full of questions and those questions have distracted me. not questions like "why?" and "how?" or "when?"

the questions in my mind have been the kind without the question marks.
like:
Jesus was born a perfect child who carried both death and life with Him his whole time on earth. He swallowed death for us, and the killing of death was the only way humanity could ever hope for life.

the kind of people that surrounded and admired Jesus when He was a child were the same kind of people who actively killed Him later.

we sing all these songs about how the night that Jesus was born was silent and holy and beautiful when the fact is, they were in a crowded little city in the middle of a census. mary was probably bedraggled and joseph's nerves were probably worn thin. Jesus, God of the universe, was not born a spotless babe. He was born gross and weird looking- like any baby. (don't get me wrong, i love babies, but they are are gross and weird looking at the very beginning...) the shepherds weren't sweet men with trimmed beards and the angels weren't these white, blonde-headed, winged, androgynous beings. it is wrong to  sugar coat these things. or it's just human nature to make the best of the situation.

seriously though, what is this Christmas thing all about? (i feel like Charlie Brown)

it is about a baby who was doomed to die by His own loving choice.
it is about a night when the heavens rejoiced and mourned.
it is about the fact that we all die. and through death, we all live.
it is about the end of the world and what happens afterwards.
it is about love. wondrous love.
it is about joy.
it is about peace.
and most of all, it is about hope.

a hope that won't let any of us go.

so we sing songs.
and we put up lights.
and we hang out with our families.
and we give eachother things we need and things we don't need.
and we watch silly movies where everything ends up as it should.
and we get excited about snow and pretty trees.

it's one day where we can stop and be thankful for the little boy that was born with the world on His shoulders. the Prince of Peace. born out of conflict. into a bleeding world.

happy christmas.
i could say "don't forget the reason for the season" or something cliche like that.
but i think i should say "continually remember the reason you're alive."

a little babe swallowed death for you. be thankful, be hopeful, have peace.

fifty

the celestial boy that was told by his father to become human to die and wanted to because he loved us so

or

the true meaning of christmas


the little babe
with the songs of angels
ringing in his little ears
they are whispering
"death will bring forth life
and love and
joy and peace"

the little lamb
saving men
with his blood
and selfless love
you will bless and cleanse
our filthy hearts

we love you Jesus
for being born
for being perfect
and suffering greatly
and carrying darkness
to the grave
carrying darkness
to the grave
the grave

ah baby boy
choosing to die
we celebrate you
with silent night
and candlelight
and white snowmen
and chestnuts roasting

now christmas is here
proclaiming joy
caused by the death
of the baby boy
in the mangers
in our living rooms
and law-firm lobbies
and department stores

we love you Jesus
for being born
for being love
for bringing peace
for killing death
and giving life
giving life
life

post script: just a reminder that i am fully aware of two things: 1) i am shamelessly copying sufjan by using really long and depressing titles 2) i know there's more than three weeks left in the year. i swear i don't know how my counting was so off.

come swiftly and run

Bring a torch, Jeanette, Isabella
Bring a torch, come swiftly and run
Christ is born tell the folk of the village
Jesus is sleeping in the manger
Ah, ah, beautiful is the mother
Ah, ah, beautiful is her Son.

Hasten now good folk of the village
Hasten now the Christ-child to see
You will find Him asleep in the manger
Quietly come and whisper softly
Hush, hush, peacefully now He slumbers
Hush, hush, peacefully now He sleeps.

crazy. cray cray. crazers.

just because life is too short to be too boring.
superlative adventures are always an option.
hilarious movies that are only funny to the people making them are a must.
absolutely awful and mostly embarrassing pictures should be taken.
abbreviating words is totes never a good idea. never. teriyaki.
getting "golden monkey tea" smell waved at me is hilarious.
hollister is terrifying.
Taco Bell is delicious. not.
malls are awful.
Jenny and I spent practically a whole day there.
but that's to be expected...because we're crazy.
Christmas Eve is tomorrow.
expect a sentimental post or something.

Happy Christmas!

There are so many good Christmas songs that I could post lyrics to...but I won't.

I want to make this quick because it's CHRISTMAS EVE! and I have lots to do before tomorrow.

Yesterday, I decorated cookies with a friend and made a very impressive gingerbread land out of ...graham crackers....so a graham cracker land. Anyway, it's impressive and I'll post pictures next week sometime. I'm going out of town tomorrow, so...I won't be able to blog =(
I love Christmas...not just the songs, food, fuzzy feelings, or food. Yeah I said food twice. But I love the meaning behind it. Christmas is completely a holiday of love. And if you thought that was cheesy, just read some more...
Yesterday, I went caroling with some friends that I dearly love. There is a house in their neighborhood that always puts up MASSIVE decorations during Christmas time and is dubbed "The Christmas House". This year, they didn't put up any. We went and caroled at their dark house. A darling woman opened the door. After we were done singing (we were like wee angels...not) "O Holy Night" and "We wish you a merry Christmas" . I looked up. Tears were streaming from the woman's eyes. I was so touched that our simple action made the woman so happy. We reminded her of Christmas. REAL Christmas. When we were caroling at another house, the owner's mentioned that the "Christmas house family" had an illness in the family, and that's why they didn't do lights this year. I was so happy that we could bring a little Christmas cheer to what seemed a cheerless house.
Yep, it's cheesy, but that's one of the reasons why I LOVE Christmas.

The things I love has come to an end. I was going to do it til the end of the year, but I want to start brainstorming on something more exciting that I can start New Year's. I love so many things, and I'll continue to share them...just not in a list and so often =)

Have a blessed Christmas. Remember why we have Christmas. Love people, give big hugs, smile and laugh lots, and make beautiful memories that will last forever.

Happy christmas!

Mary Em

Thoughts

I got an email today that made me think. Made me think harder than I have since ...well forever.

I went to camp this summer with a really cool girl. She was a great Christian and one of the funniest people I've ever met. Her boyfriend came for the ball at the end of the week. They were adorable and perfect for eachother. He was 20 she was 18. I received an email today telling me that Trent (the boyfriend) had been accidentally shot by his brother and yesterday, he died.
Now I'm completely aware of the fact that death is a normal thing. But this hit me harder than I thought it would.

Cara was over at my house and sat in silence as I read the message and gasped in disbelief. I had met this guy. He was young and wonderful to be around. I cannot even fathom what his family, his friends, and Avery are going through.

Then I thought-how fortunate am I to have life? I am a spoiled brat that wakes up every day, barely mumbling a prayer of thankfulness to my GREAT God. I rarely think-Wow! I'm awake! Thanks God! and even less often than that do I think, Jeez! I'm so fortunate! my parents are alive too! and even less...well you get the idea.

I thought about how much I treasure my friends, family, and people I just know. There are some people in my life, I really don't know what I'd do without them. I can't even imagine what Avery is feeling right now.
Pray for her. And pray for Trent's family (the Locketts). Pray for consolation and peace. Pray for them to turn to Jesus for their peace and nothing else.

Also, wake up and think about what you do and say. I love you guys. And I'm thankful for each and every one of you. =)

Things I love:
1) getting flour on my face when I cook.
2) making Christmas cookies
3) Decorating Gingerbread.
4)Going thrifting
4) Walking to Micah's
5) new music!
6) closing my eyes...and knowing that I am His.
7) mittens....and blue satin sashes =P
8) Computers...
9) CAMERAS
10) Crazy hibachi chefs...

Mary Em

Simply havin, a wonderful christmastime.

Tacky Christmas! I went to the Sr. High Progressive dinner last night for our church. The plan was for all the girls to wear tacky sweaters...I ended up being the only one. Haha oh well!
So I did it. I donated my hair. I cut off ELEVEN inches! I'm not sure if I like it still. But I'm sure it will grow on me. I am having the best Christmas break! Since thursday, I've been to two parties, wrapped most of my Christmas presents, made a hat, written some christmas cards, and watched three movies. Life is good.

Last night, I watched Julie&Julia. In spite of it's obvious political agenda, it was a pretty cute movie. The plot was quick moving and interesting. Amy Adams was adorable, no duh. I definitely think that it was sad though, that the "blog" was Julie's only source of purpose. Hm.

Anyway, afterwards, I wanted to cook and blog like crazy. So I did! I made little quiches for a party I'm going to today. You know what they NEVER show in any cooking shows or movies? The dishes part. I love cooking. But after I was done with the quiche I had to face a mountain of cutting boards, knives, and measuring things. It didn't take me long or anything...but I hate that part.

Anyway, I hope you have the best day. I know I've had a great one so far. This Christmas feels like it's going to be the best yet. No joke.

Things I love-Family edition: I've already been thankful for my parents so...
1) My brother Jonathan. He's earthy and humble and unique. I love him and he's going to make SUCH a great dad. He also was one of the people who introduced me to good music in middle school.
2) My brother Kevin-He's like my body guard. I know if I ever have trouble in any way, I can call him and he'll beat up somebody for me. =)
3) Kyle-He's loud and funny, and excited about life. Despite all of our many differences, I love him =) He's also my twin, according to some people.
4) Victoria-She's crafty, artistic as all get out...I do love that about her. She can be veryyy spoiled, but sometimes we have the most fun together.
5) Jennie Vatt-My first sis-in-law. I know when she married Jonathan I was a little nervous. Okay, I was crushed. I felt like someone had stolen my brother away. But now I treasure Jennie so much and cannot imagine life without her! she's so inspired and such a dreamer. I love her so much.
6) Brandi Vatt-The newest addition to our family. She's so sweet and quiet. I love her smile and her sense of humor. Her and Kevin are perfect for eachother!
7) BABY VATT!- He/She isn't here yet (just a month left!) But I'm already in love with it. I know he or she is going to be one of the coolest kids around! =)
8) Grandma and Grandpa "Karl"-They live in Arizona (which is gorgeous by the way). My Grandmother is a fantastic cook and is so sweet. My grandpa tells hilarious stories and has taught me many life lessons.
9) Grandma and Granpa Wilkin- They live in Texas! My grandma is a very interesting person. She likes unique things and has strong opinions. My Grandpa is so so so sweet. He plays golf and cards. We have played some great rounds of poker together. =)
10) Uncle Rick and Aunt Sharon- They're my closest family outside of my close family. if that makes sense. Uncle rick is a lot like my dad. He grows things. He used to make salsa so hot that you would practically explode when you ate it =) He's quiet and sweet. My aunt Sharon is one of the most amazing women ever. She's patient and has a gift for interior decorating. She loves My sister and I like we're her kids.

There you go. I'm going to try to make some stencils to make shirts before the party tonight! =)
I promise, I'll be wayy more diligent with my blogging now that it's Christmas break. I'll also begin posting more pictures!

Mary Em