my mind is pretty much racing right now, so i'm not sure this is the opportune time to blog about my week. my sweet, sweet david and two other friends sent me mail that just blew my mind. so now i'm like "ahh i love these people!"
anyway.
this week i am just going to kind of overview because it wasn't a normal camp week. we worked a retreat called "all nations" and julie, jenny, and i were in charge of making dinner. it actually ended up being super fun, in spite of being in the kitchen alllll day erryday. all of our meals were a success, in spite of a few mishaps ("this is a financial disaster!"-julie). mostly the week was spent reading, listening, laughing, watching "monster U" (so adorable), and a lot of thinking. i got to skype david, which of course was great. overall, the week was really about serving. service (like kitchen work) is so satisfying because there are such tangible results after your work is through. with counseling (which is a completely different kind of serving) the results are spiritual and emotional and you can't ever really grasp them. so it was a nice change to see people really enjoying my work. it rained all week too. and I LOVE CAMP WHEN IT RAINS! (i yelled this earlier this week and julie and jenny were kind of at a loss for words). yesterday was spent at ryan and lucy's house (our camp director and his wife) doing laundry. we watched "parent trap" and "gilmore girls" until it was dark and pretty much never moved from the couch. it was a pretty restful week and i'm so glad i got to be a part of it.
that's pretty much it.
lost in an uncharted sea.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Monday, July 1, 2013
summer debriefing project. week four.
i'm laying in my own (super comfy) bed while i write this. this week was so nice, but also very tiring. next week, i am working a retreat, so i don't have to hurry back to camp quite as quickly. so i thought i'd take advantage of this and go home for a day. it's been nice and quiet and sleepy.
sunday: i was pretty excited this day. church was nice and worshipping was nice. my voice was pretty much back, so that was also nice. when the campers started getting here, i got excited. the age group i had was the second-oldest girls and anna (the best jr. counselor ever) was in my cabin with me. the girls were all from very different backgrounds. at night, anna and i talked (a lot) and i think we both were a little apprehensive about the week. at this point, i thought cabin unity was pretty unattainable. however, i already could tell that this week would be entirely different from the last. i was spiritually/mentally/emotionally renewed by spending time with jen and anna.
monday: this day was so nice. i memorized Bible verses with anna on the porch (during my off activity period) and was able to do WTP (white tiger palace) in the morning before counselor meeting. i spent the whole day trying to get to know the girls. three of them were pretty out-going...but the rest were quite quiet. i faced the challenge boldly, and proceeded to ask them ridiculous questions about themselves ALL DAY. oh, i forgot to mention earlier that i was captain this week. our team name was team Ewoks. cool, right? anyway, porch talks started this evening. it was so cool to be able to take out a girl that i had in my camper two years ago. she is such a sweet girl and i really really like her. God definitely confirmed that she was supposed to be in my cabin during our porch talk. it was awesome.
tuesday: this day, i became pretty weary. week three of camp is always a challenging week energy-wise, but the fact i had also left the country this summer increased my misery a little.
(so this is a day later. i fell asleep mid-post because of taking melatonin and also because i was just so exhausted)
anyway, tuesday. it was super fun, in spite of my weariness. i got to hang out with the girls a lot during activity time and still had time to write my prayer partner and read and such. i had adam as my prayer partner this week. that was pretty fun because he's the type of person who seems to really appreciate well thought-out letters. we played spoons a lot in the cabin. the girls became so obsessed that they played "ultimate spoons". i really don't remember much from this day. we did go on the mountain hike. that was a lot of fun. i got to talk a lot with tim and we kind of bonded by running down part of the trail. he's so great, it's a shame we've lived on the SAME STREET for like, 10 years and not been friends. the day basically ended with me eating a lot, running a 40-yard-dash (quite slowly) and having an incredible porch talk time.
wednesday: i texted david this day and told him that i basically felt Jesus's arms carrying me. every morning of this week i would be like "i'm not going to make it" and every night i would think "this was the best day ever, praise the Lord." it was such a unique/humbling/empowering/lovely/terrifying thing to be so so so reliant on God's power. He's so good, though, so He always supplies the strength we need. this was the first day of teaching photography with jenny. jenny's awesome, guys. and i really love spending time with her. i got letters from the girls from day camp who called me "Chumbo" and that was so awesome! they drew me pictures and such. so sweet. in the afternoon, three of my campers (elise, grace, and sarah) took hose showers in our bathing suits and sat in the sun. it was probably the most relaxed banquet night ever. it was so nice to just sit and talk with those girls. they are super cute and pretty mature for their age, so the conversation came easily. this night was such a challenging evening. if i wasn't sure of spiritual warfare before, i was definitely sure of it after this evening. camp has been growing and Christ has been so so alive here. because of that, the devil has been hard at work. so much so, that he's attacking camp in terrible ways. the staff has been so unified, but individually, we've all been struggling in different ways. that kind of manifested itself on this night. wednesday night is the night the salvation message is presented, so it was something i kind of expected. the night was so spiritually challenging that anna and i couldn't give porch talks. i knew i needed to do cabin devotions, though. so i takled about "how deep the father's love for us" and how that song correlates with scripture and relates to our lives as Christians. it was so crazy, because halfway through the whole thing, i watched the girl's faces and what i saw surprised me. they were all so engaged and really, truly listening. also, i realized i hadn't been really thinking about what i'd been saying and that it was totally the Holy Spirit speaking through me. then i prayed Ephesians 3:14-21 over them and they went to sleep. then anna and i giggled in the bathroom about our sweet, but clueless camper beth. the late evening started with a lot of tears and pain, but it ended with rejoicing and gladness.
thursday: this day was the day i felt the most tired. i woke up early to process film and the hours seemed to creep by. the whole day i was super reliant on God. i had learned by this time that He was the only thing i had to get me through the day. i also learned that i could ask Him for energy and enthusiasm, and He would totally give it to me. i got two packages from friends, too! that was so encouraging and gave me a lot of joy. this day we did the zip line in the afternoon, which was pretty fun. mostly i just laughed with the campers at the rock wall and put on harnesses and whatnot. taco salad was for dinner. and my cabin did a skit using mostly all puns. unit campfire went really well. it was awesome to see the girls hanging out and really loving spending time with eachother. our cabin unity was so great by this time. one of my campers really opened up during campfire and gave part of her testimony. anna and i took four girls out for porch talks. it was so great, but also pretty draining. both of the talks were with girls from really difficult backgrounds. but they were both encouraging. one of the girls was just so in love with God, even though her life and circumstances would make most people turn against Him. it was pretty awesome/heartbreaking/encouraging/inspiring. anna and i went to the kitchen and ate someone else's reese's while we talked things over. it was our last late-night talk and it was so so so nice.
friday: this was SUCH a great last day. photography went so well. jenny and i wore matching everything (down to our braided ponies!). the kiddos made some awesome photographs. water day went pretty well. but my favorite part was sitting in the sun with those girls again (post hose shower time) and just talking about the week. all of them agreed it was one of their favorite weeks. i was so humbled/flattered to be apart of that. cookout was nice, but i spent most of it throwing a frisbee with riley (the gluten-free hero) and judging photographs with jenny, erin, and miles (one of my favorite campers). bonfire was really great. there were some awesome testimonies. and in the middle of it, rain just POURED down. it was so cool to be apart of a huge crowd of people that was sprinting to the dining hall. we all sat in the pews, happy and cold and wet, and listened to the rest of the testimonies. God is great and has done GREAT works in the lives of His people. our cabin partied and played mafia and went to sleep entirely too late.
saturday: saying goodbye to my girls (and a lot of other campers) was too hard. i am still missing them. i went home and called david yesterday and that was so awesome. i also got to talk to one of the new girl counselors (i was giving her a ride to red bank) and that was so super nice.
sunday (today!): i want to add today to my list of days to write about, because it was like, SO good. it started with waking up from a whopping ELEVEN hours of sleep. i had a nice chat with my dad and went to church. it was so nice to go to actual church and be so filled. at camp you get so empty (because you're always always pouring out) and it's so reviving to be taught. then cara, jason, and i spent the day together. ah, they are lovely people and i have missed them (and the rest of the haiti team). i felt so refreshed as i drove through the rain back to camp.
sorry that was so incredibly long.
i'm gonna go to sleep now!
sunday: i was pretty excited this day. church was nice and worshipping was nice. my voice was pretty much back, so that was also nice. when the campers started getting here, i got excited. the age group i had was the second-oldest girls and anna (the best jr. counselor ever) was in my cabin with me. the girls were all from very different backgrounds. at night, anna and i talked (a lot) and i think we both were a little apprehensive about the week. at this point, i thought cabin unity was pretty unattainable. however, i already could tell that this week would be entirely different from the last. i was spiritually/mentally/emotionally renewed by spending time with jen and anna.
monday: this day was so nice. i memorized Bible verses with anna on the porch (during my off activity period) and was able to do WTP (white tiger palace) in the morning before counselor meeting. i spent the whole day trying to get to know the girls. three of them were pretty out-going...but the rest were quite quiet. i faced the challenge boldly, and proceeded to ask them ridiculous questions about themselves ALL DAY. oh, i forgot to mention earlier that i was captain this week. our team name was team Ewoks. cool, right? anyway, porch talks started this evening. it was so cool to be able to take out a girl that i had in my camper two years ago. she is such a sweet girl and i really really like her. God definitely confirmed that she was supposed to be in my cabin during our porch talk. it was awesome.
tuesday: this day, i became pretty weary. week three of camp is always a challenging week energy-wise, but the fact i had also left the country this summer increased my misery a little.
(so this is a day later. i fell asleep mid-post because of taking melatonin and also because i was just so exhausted)
anyway, tuesday. it was super fun, in spite of my weariness. i got to hang out with the girls a lot during activity time and still had time to write my prayer partner and read and such. i had adam as my prayer partner this week. that was pretty fun because he's the type of person who seems to really appreciate well thought-out letters. we played spoons a lot in the cabin. the girls became so obsessed that they played "ultimate spoons". i really don't remember much from this day. we did go on the mountain hike. that was a lot of fun. i got to talk a lot with tim and we kind of bonded by running down part of the trail. he's so great, it's a shame we've lived on the SAME STREET for like, 10 years and not been friends. the day basically ended with me eating a lot, running a 40-yard-dash (quite slowly) and having an incredible porch talk time.
wednesday: i texted david this day and told him that i basically felt Jesus's arms carrying me. every morning of this week i would be like "i'm not going to make it" and every night i would think "this was the best day ever, praise the Lord." it was such a unique/humbling/empowering/lovely/terrifying thing to be so so so reliant on God's power. He's so good, though, so He always supplies the strength we need. this was the first day of teaching photography with jenny. jenny's awesome, guys. and i really love spending time with her. i got letters from the girls from day camp who called me "Chumbo" and that was so awesome! they drew me pictures and such. so sweet. in the afternoon, three of my campers (elise, grace, and sarah) took hose showers in our bathing suits and sat in the sun. it was probably the most relaxed banquet night ever. it was so nice to just sit and talk with those girls. they are super cute and pretty mature for their age, so the conversation came easily. this night was such a challenging evening. if i wasn't sure of spiritual warfare before, i was definitely sure of it after this evening. camp has been growing and Christ has been so so alive here. because of that, the devil has been hard at work. so much so, that he's attacking camp in terrible ways. the staff has been so unified, but individually, we've all been struggling in different ways. that kind of manifested itself on this night. wednesday night is the night the salvation message is presented, so it was something i kind of expected. the night was so spiritually challenging that anna and i couldn't give porch talks. i knew i needed to do cabin devotions, though. so i takled about "how deep the father's love for us" and how that song correlates with scripture and relates to our lives as Christians. it was so crazy, because halfway through the whole thing, i watched the girl's faces and what i saw surprised me. they were all so engaged and really, truly listening. also, i realized i hadn't been really thinking about what i'd been saying and that it was totally the Holy Spirit speaking through me. then i prayed Ephesians 3:14-21 over them and they went to sleep. then anna and i giggled in the bathroom about our sweet, but clueless camper beth. the late evening started with a lot of tears and pain, but it ended with rejoicing and gladness.
thursday: this day was the day i felt the most tired. i woke up early to process film and the hours seemed to creep by. the whole day i was super reliant on God. i had learned by this time that He was the only thing i had to get me through the day. i also learned that i could ask Him for energy and enthusiasm, and He would totally give it to me. i got two packages from friends, too! that was so encouraging and gave me a lot of joy. this day we did the zip line in the afternoon, which was pretty fun. mostly i just laughed with the campers at the rock wall and put on harnesses and whatnot. taco salad was for dinner. and my cabin did a skit using mostly all puns. unit campfire went really well. it was awesome to see the girls hanging out and really loving spending time with eachother. our cabin unity was so great by this time. one of my campers really opened up during campfire and gave part of her testimony. anna and i took four girls out for porch talks. it was so great, but also pretty draining. both of the talks were with girls from really difficult backgrounds. but they were both encouraging. one of the girls was just so in love with God, even though her life and circumstances would make most people turn against Him. it was pretty awesome/heartbreaking/encouraging/inspiring. anna and i went to the kitchen and ate someone else's reese's while we talked things over. it was our last late-night talk and it was so so so nice.
friday: this was SUCH a great last day. photography went so well. jenny and i wore matching everything (down to our braided ponies!). the kiddos made some awesome photographs. water day went pretty well. but my favorite part was sitting in the sun with those girls again (post hose shower time) and just talking about the week. all of them agreed it was one of their favorite weeks. i was so humbled/flattered to be apart of that. cookout was nice, but i spent most of it throwing a frisbee with riley (the gluten-free hero) and judging photographs with jenny, erin, and miles (one of my favorite campers). bonfire was really great. there were some awesome testimonies. and in the middle of it, rain just POURED down. it was so cool to be apart of a huge crowd of people that was sprinting to the dining hall. we all sat in the pews, happy and cold and wet, and listened to the rest of the testimonies. God is great and has done GREAT works in the lives of His people. our cabin partied and played mafia and went to sleep entirely too late.
saturday: saying goodbye to my girls (and a lot of other campers) was too hard. i am still missing them. i went home and called david yesterday and that was so awesome. i also got to talk to one of the new girl counselors (i was giving her a ride to red bank) and that was so super nice.
sunday (today!): i want to add today to my list of days to write about, because it was like, SO good. it started with waking up from a whopping ELEVEN hours of sleep. i had a nice chat with my dad and went to church. it was so nice to go to actual church and be so filled. at camp you get so empty (because you're always always pouring out) and it's so reviving to be taught. then cara, jason, and i spent the day together. ah, they are lovely people and i have missed them (and the rest of the haiti team). i felt so refreshed as i drove through the rain back to camp.
sorry that was so incredibly long.
i'm gonna go to sleep now!
Saturday, June 22, 2013
summer debriefing project. week three.
good afternoon! i am sitting in an artsy-fartsy "coffee bar" in Cookeville. i have an iced vanilla coffee and jenny by my side, so obviously things couldn't get much better.
this week was draining emotionally and spiritually. it was great, but also crazy.
i think the whole day thing went really well last week, so i'm going to that again.
sunday: i was so excited to have the middle girls. they were coming with a big group from knoxville that has come to camp many years, so i knew they would be enthusiastic. i had a great day of rest on saturday and got to talk to jen and david in the same day (wowee). julie was my kind of co-counselor (we were in separate cabins that decided to combine) and we both had great jr. counselors, so it looked like a promising week. church that morning was so awesome too. i always forget how nice it is to worship at camp until i'm there and almost in tears because it's just so beautiful. it was so so so crazy when the girls got to camp. their moms were CRAZY (for the most part) and unpacking was so chaotic. we ended up going to dinner as the "braidy bunch" and braided all crazy. we also established three important rules for our cabin: 1) breathe, 2) never back down, 3) always give 100% (this was usually followed with a warrior pose). the girls seemed sweet and all was well.
monday: counselor meetings started this day. these are my favorite and i always enjoy them. i love the quiet, early mornings at camp. they are such a nice time dedicated to cups of tea/coffee on the porch, watching the sun shine through the mist and on the dew, and spending time with a holy and perfect God who just loves us so much. i ended up teaching riflery class. i want to go outside my comfort zone this summer and teach activities that i wouldn't usually. so i acted like a drill sergeant and yelled at the kids to respect me and whatnot. it was fun for the kids and fun for me. monday went by pretty quickly. it was nice to be able to sit back and let the kiddos have fun with eachother, but it was also chaotic to try to control them. i ended up being bad cop quite a lot this week. but that's okay. monday night, we went to dinner dressed as warriors and it was awesome. we did a lot of warrior poses and such. my porch talks began this night. i usually take girls out onto the field with a blanket instead of just sitting on the porch. i like that because it allows us to sit under the large, starry sky and observe how large God is.
tuesday: life was so difficult this day. i would rather not talk about it that much, so i kind of will skim tuesday. okay so the huge thing that happened this day was skit night. skit night was probably the best i have seen since i have been working at camp. like they were SO clever and hilarious. our girls were missionaries from the FUTURE (futurefuturefuture...) and went to all the planets (including the dwarf planet, Pluto and a planet named SOLAR). They were adorable and did so well. i was pretty impatient this day and was not able to "roll with the punches" or whatever the saying is. i ended up crying and calling david during the night game. that was both exhausting and humiliating and new. but david was so patient. and instead of giving me empty encouragement, he spoke truth to me. and that was priceless. one of my campers got saved on tuesday night, too. i feel like that was Jesus just confirming that life is good and He is good and He has a plan.
wednesday: this is my favorite day at resident camp. the gospel of salvation is presented and great things usually happen. i was so spent this day. my vocal chords were in pain and i was so tired. but my heart was not as heavy as it had been. the thing that impressed me so much this week, was that my girls were so supportive of eachother. all of them were just very sweet and seemed to really care for eachother! that's such an amazing thing to encounter in a group of 19 girls. campfire wednesday night was great. ryan did an excellent job giving the most beautiful message you could ever give. this night was banquet. banquet night is ALWAYS CRAZY. it's so fun to dress up, but it's also like AHHH CAMPERS! i got to take a picture with one of my favorite campers this week, wheat. his name was wheat. so you know, a picture with me is hilarious. because i'm wheat-intolerant! hahaha
i thought it was funny.
thursday: i really got to know some of the quieter campers this day. that was so invaluable to me. we sat and made bracelets and wrote stories at the pool. thursday night was an emotional night for some of the campers. it was a quiet kind of day for me. i woke up an hour later than usual and felt rested.
friday: this day was full of fun and jenny got to camp! in riflery, i had them complete a challenge to get their award and gave a talk about training in righteousness. it really summed up the whole week really well. i asked wheat what his favorite part about camp was and he quietly answered "the people here." it kind of hit me that that's my favorite part about camp too. water day went so well. i ate TONS of candy to get myself pumped up enough to be excited. after the water slide, we took hose showers in our bathings suits and ran around in the sun to dry our hair. then jenny came. and everybody kind of got crazy excited because she's basically the best. everything about this night was lovely. the bonfire was awesome. a little boy named perry cried softly in my arms for most of it. it was a good time for me to just love on him. i love little boy campers. they're so sweet and innocent still. i got to know a lot of the younger boys this week and that was so so so nice. i ended up giving my testimony at bonfire night, even though i didn't plan to. the party that we had in our cabin was crazy, but (luckily) short-lived. before we knew it, all of us (we were piled on the floor) were asleep.
saturday: (that's today) all of the girls left in a whirlwind. i realized, as i took a super super long shower after they all left, that i was just so drained and needed to be alone. so i have been. and then i got to talk to jen. and that's been good. basically, today has been good.
so yeah, that's my week. it's been crazzzzy and fun.
i have anna (who is so so great) as a junior counselor next week and some campers that i have had in years past. so i'm really excited. but i am a little tired. so hopefully i can get rested.
i hope that you know that Jesus loves you so much and that He always provides, because i was very pointedly reminded of that this week. i was also reminded that i am such a needy person. i just need lots of things. like love, rest, encouragement, and (more than anything) Jesus.
have a great week, yo.
this week was draining emotionally and spiritually. it was great, but also crazy.
i think the whole day thing went really well last week, so i'm going to that again.
sunday: i was so excited to have the middle girls. they were coming with a big group from knoxville that has come to camp many years, so i knew they would be enthusiastic. i had a great day of rest on saturday and got to talk to jen and david in the same day (wowee). julie was my kind of co-counselor (we were in separate cabins that decided to combine) and we both had great jr. counselors, so it looked like a promising week. church that morning was so awesome too. i always forget how nice it is to worship at camp until i'm there and almost in tears because it's just so beautiful. it was so so so crazy when the girls got to camp. their moms were CRAZY (for the most part) and unpacking was so chaotic. we ended up going to dinner as the "braidy bunch" and braided all crazy. we also established three important rules for our cabin: 1) breathe, 2) never back down, 3) always give 100% (this was usually followed with a warrior pose). the girls seemed sweet and all was well.
monday: counselor meetings started this day. these are my favorite and i always enjoy them. i love the quiet, early mornings at camp. they are such a nice time dedicated to cups of tea/coffee on the porch, watching the sun shine through the mist and on the dew, and spending time with a holy and perfect God who just loves us so much. i ended up teaching riflery class. i want to go outside my comfort zone this summer and teach activities that i wouldn't usually. so i acted like a drill sergeant and yelled at the kids to respect me and whatnot. it was fun for the kids and fun for me. monday went by pretty quickly. it was nice to be able to sit back and let the kiddos have fun with eachother, but it was also chaotic to try to control them. i ended up being bad cop quite a lot this week. but that's okay. monday night, we went to dinner dressed as warriors and it was awesome. we did a lot of warrior poses and such. my porch talks began this night. i usually take girls out onto the field with a blanket instead of just sitting on the porch. i like that because it allows us to sit under the large, starry sky and observe how large God is.
tuesday: life was so difficult this day. i would rather not talk about it that much, so i kind of will skim tuesday. okay so the huge thing that happened this day was skit night. skit night was probably the best i have seen since i have been working at camp. like they were SO clever and hilarious. our girls were missionaries from the FUTURE (futurefuturefuture...) and went to all the planets (including the dwarf planet, Pluto and a planet named SOLAR). They were adorable and did so well. i was pretty impatient this day and was not able to "roll with the punches" or whatever the saying is. i ended up crying and calling david during the night game. that was both exhausting and humiliating and new. but david was so patient. and instead of giving me empty encouragement, he spoke truth to me. and that was priceless. one of my campers got saved on tuesday night, too. i feel like that was Jesus just confirming that life is good and He is good and He has a plan.
wednesday: this is my favorite day at resident camp. the gospel of salvation is presented and great things usually happen. i was so spent this day. my vocal chords were in pain and i was so tired. but my heart was not as heavy as it had been. the thing that impressed me so much this week, was that my girls were so supportive of eachother. all of them were just very sweet and seemed to really care for eachother! that's such an amazing thing to encounter in a group of 19 girls. campfire wednesday night was great. ryan did an excellent job giving the most beautiful message you could ever give. this night was banquet. banquet night is ALWAYS CRAZY. it's so fun to dress up, but it's also like AHHH CAMPERS! i got to take a picture with one of my favorite campers this week, wheat. his name was wheat. so you know, a picture with me is hilarious. because i'm wheat-intolerant! hahaha
i thought it was funny.
thursday: i really got to know some of the quieter campers this day. that was so invaluable to me. we sat and made bracelets and wrote stories at the pool. thursday night was an emotional night for some of the campers. it was a quiet kind of day for me. i woke up an hour later than usual and felt rested.
friday: this day was full of fun and jenny got to camp! in riflery, i had them complete a challenge to get their award and gave a talk about training in righteousness. it really summed up the whole week really well. i asked wheat what his favorite part about camp was and he quietly answered "the people here." it kind of hit me that that's my favorite part about camp too. water day went so well. i ate TONS of candy to get myself pumped up enough to be excited. after the water slide, we took hose showers in our bathings suits and ran around in the sun to dry our hair. then jenny came. and everybody kind of got crazy excited because she's basically the best. everything about this night was lovely. the bonfire was awesome. a little boy named perry cried softly in my arms for most of it. it was a good time for me to just love on him. i love little boy campers. they're so sweet and innocent still. i got to know a lot of the younger boys this week and that was so so so nice. i ended up giving my testimony at bonfire night, even though i didn't plan to. the party that we had in our cabin was crazy, but (luckily) short-lived. before we knew it, all of us (we were piled on the floor) were asleep.
saturday: (that's today) all of the girls left in a whirlwind. i realized, as i took a super super long shower after they all left, that i was just so drained and needed to be alone. so i have been. and then i got to talk to jen. and that's been good. basically, today has been good.
so yeah, that's my week. it's been crazzzzy and fun.
i have anna (who is so so great) as a junior counselor next week and some campers that i have had in years past. so i'm really excited. but i am a little tired. so hopefully i can get rested.
i hope that you know that Jesus loves you so much and that He always provides, because i was very pointedly reminded of that this week. i was also reminded that i am such a needy person. i just need lots of things. like love, rest, encouragement, and (more than anything) Jesus.
have a great week, yo.
Friday, June 14, 2013
summer debriefing project. week two.
hello all. i hope this finds you happy and healthy.
this week was my first official week of working at camp. it was hectic, crazy, draining, and extremely fun. i had the youngest girls (ages five and six and i also had one seven year old) in day camp.
let me recap the weeks by days:
monday: this day was fun, but i was still getting over being exhausted from haiti. i barely remember any of it, except naptime. the youngest kids get to nap everyday, which is awesome. they don't all sleep, however. and they are rather particular about details in the stories you tell. i tried to make cinderella's dress green and all hell broke loose. also, i began reading hosea, the psalms, and first corinthians. that was nice.
tuesday: i was so tired this day. also i was missing david pretty vehemently. that distracted me/frustrated me tremendously and i didn't know what to do about it. we all went to the "lava rocks" and built forts this day. that was so fun. my girls and i (the purple indian tribe) waged war on adam and his boys (i think his name was wolf-fang or something). potions and bows and arrows and spy attacks were involved. i really got to bond with my camper macy this day. she is a cute little ginger girl with freckles and the sweetest smile. i slept for a short while during naptime and felt like i got hit by a truck as a result. this was also the day that a group of girls (macy, liza, ava, and olivia) dubbed me "chumbo" in the pool. apparently that is a really good villain name. i was a little emotional and had an asthma attack this night. so although it wasn't a bad day, it definitely wasn't a good one.
wednesday: wednesday began with a large book with a timeline it it all spread out on the table in the dining hall. some of us gathered around it and read about people and how long their lives were and stuff. it was kind of a nice beginning to the day. i was so tired this day, but not quite as whiny, which was good. my group (group 2) was the youngest boys and the youngest girls. the youngest boys were HILARIOUS. like a lot. i wish i could write down everything that this one camper blake said. because he was a real gem. the girls told me all about my past as chumbo and how i came to cedar lake (who are you and whatchyoudoin'?). lots of giggles were had by all. gs-ing with julie and hannah was super nice this evening. banquet was so fun. i forgot my camera and didn't really have a reason to take pictures, so julie and i ran around and tried to photobomb jonathan. in the past jonathan has ruined countless beautiful photographs of certain groups of people. this plan, however did not work. instead, julie and i grabbed random campers and posed with them. after worship (which was so nice to be apart of) i skyped david. it's a little embarrassing how much my mood changed after that. it was nice to catch up and be able to kind of share our lives with eachother.
thursday: this was the beginning of the end. we were all so tired, but the exhaustion expressed itself through delirium. silly songs were incredibly intense and finger-extenders were flawlessly executed. the rest of the day was a little bit of a blur, because it was just so fun. water day was very fun (even though my baby camper payton slept through it) and i really enjoyed getting to spend time with adam and jr. counselor blake all day. even if they threw gross water on me. the slip-n-slide was (of course) both dangerous and thrilling. the poor little campers got some battle wounds, but it's all apart of the show. thursday night skits were really fun to watch! i feel like the cabins worked pretty hard on them. after that, we (day camp staff +a few) went to sams and sonic. julie, karley, hannah, and i danced (a lot) and got lost on the way there. when we got to sonic, it was super overwhelming, but a good time was had by all. i feel like i really got to bond with our new director, megan, so that was pretty cool. the staff seems so much more of a whole unit than last summer. that's really refreshing and uplifting to me. i slept SO WELL this night.
friday/today: this was such a hard/good/hilarious day. i was basically in a zombie state for most of the morning. EXCEPT during silly songs. silly songs reached epic proportions this morning and "with jesus in the boat" never sounded/looked better. feeling expressed, lives were changed, and the pavilion will never see such a big finish (when we're sailing HOMMMMMEEEEEE). i felt like the whole day i was saying to myself "JUST PUSH THROUGH". none of the kids (except sweet little matthew) slept during naptime. i told two stories and, according to adam, i slurred my words and not many of my sentences connected. i was laying on the couch, so i was most likely telling the stories in my sleep. i got to be "chumbo" one last time. when the girls left, i was pretty sad...actually a lot more sad than i thought i would be. i gave some of them my address, so i hope they'll write me. after a nice gs, i felt refreshed and slightly insane. julie and i were crazy all day today and that was really entertaining/enjoyable.
and that's about it.
sorry this is long.
kaybye
this week was my first official week of working at camp. it was hectic, crazy, draining, and extremely fun. i had the youngest girls (ages five and six and i also had one seven year old) in day camp.
let me recap the weeks by days:
monday: this day was fun, but i was still getting over being exhausted from haiti. i barely remember any of it, except naptime. the youngest kids get to nap everyday, which is awesome. they don't all sleep, however. and they are rather particular about details in the stories you tell. i tried to make cinderella's dress green and all hell broke loose. also, i began reading hosea, the psalms, and first corinthians. that was nice.
tuesday: i was so tired this day. also i was missing david pretty vehemently. that distracted me/frustrated me tremendously and i didn't know what to do about it. we all went to the "lava rocks" and built forts this day. that was so fun. my girls and i (the purple indian tribe) waged war on adam and his boys (i think his name was wolf-fang or something). potions and bows and arrows and spy attacks were involved. i really got to bond with my camper macy this day. she is a cute little ginger girl with freckles and the sweetest smile. i slept for a short while during naptime and felt like i got hit by a truck as a result. this was also the day that a group of girls (macy, liza, ava, and olivia) dubbed me "chumbo" in the pool. apparently that is a really good villain name. i was a little emotional and had an asthma attack this night. so although it wasn't a bad day, it definitely wasn't a good one.
wednesday: wednesday began with a large book with a timeline it it all spread out on the table in the dining hall. some of us gathered around it and read about people and how long their lives were and stuff. it was kind of a nice beginning to the day. i was so tired this day, but not quite as whiny, which was good. my group (group 2) was the youngest boys and the youngest girls. the youngest boys were HILARIOUS. like a lot. i wish i could write down everything that this one camper blake said. because he was a real gem. the girls told me all about my past as chumbo and how i came to cedar lake (who are you and whatchyoudoin'?). lots of giggles were had by all. gs-ing with julie and hannah was super nice this evening. banquet was so fun. i forgot my camera and didn't really have a reason to take pictures, so julie and i ran around and tried to photobomb jonathan. in the past jonathan has ruined countless beautiful photographs of certain groups of people. this plan, however did not work. instead, julie and i grabbed random campers and posed with them. after worship (which was so nice to be apart of) i skyped david. it's a little embarrassing how much my mood changed after that. it was nice to catch up and be able to kind of share our lives with eachother.
thursday: this was the beginning of the end. we were all so tired, but the exhaustion expressed itself through delirium. silly songs were incredibly intense and finger-extenders were flawlessly executed. the rest of the day was a little bit of a blur, because it was just so fun. water day was very fun (even though my baby camper payton slept through it) and i really enjoyed getting to spend time with adam and jr. counselor blake all day. even if they threw gross water on me. the slip-n-slide was (of course) both dangerous and thrilling. the poor little campers got some battle wounds, but it's all apart of the show. thursday night skits were really fun to watch! i feel like the cabins worked pretty hard on them. after that, we (day camp staff +a few) went to sams and sonic. julie, karley, hannah, and i danced (a lot) and got lost on the way there. when we got to sonic, it was super overwhelming, but a good time was had by all. i feel like i really got to bond with our new director, megan, so that was pretty cool. the staff seems so much more of a whole unit than last summer. that's really refreshing and uplifting to me. i slept SO WELL this night.
friday/today: this was such a hard/good/hilarious day. i was basically in a zombie state for most of the morning. EXCEPT during silly songs. silly songs reached epic proportions this morning and "with jesus in the boat" never sounded/looked better. feeling expressed, lives were changed, and the pavilion will never see such a big finish (when we're sailing HOMMMMMEEEEEE). i felt like the whole day i was saying to myself "JUST PUSH THROUGH". none of the kids (except sweet little matthew) slept during naptime. i told two stories and, according to adam, i slurred my words and not many of my sentences connected. i was laying on the couch, so i was most likely telling the stories in my sleep. i got to be "chumbo" one last time. when the girls left, i was pretty sad...actually a lot more sad than i thought i would be. i gave some of them my address, so i hope they'll write me. after a nice gs, i felt refreshed and slightly insane. julie and i were crazy all day today and that was really entertaining/enjoyable.
and that's about it.
sorry this is long.
kaybye
Sunday, June 9, 2013
summer debriefing project. week one.
so much of my summer has been very fast-paced already, so i thought i'd do a debriefing post every week. so if you grow tired of my life, i'm sorry.
this past week (and a little before that) i was in Bohoc, Haiti with a group from my church. i went to Haiti last year, but but i still did not know what to expect. the area was incredible and mountainous. last year, i fell in love with the coast. this year, i fell in love with the plateau. the way the trip impacted me can be split into three different categories: the way my own thoughts and heart changed, the beauty of the people, and the beauty of my team.
perhaps the largest thing that changed in me this week was my doubt. i have always known i have a hard time dying to myself. the very phrase "dying to yourself" has made me cringe. i have doubted the Holy Spirit's presence in my life and the power that gives. this week definitely taught me that i am actually, through the Holy Spirit, much more capable of dying to myself than i thought. who knew? this week also taught me that God is the Great Provider. i have subconsciously (and consciously) doubted that since i knew what money was and how it worked. through testimonies, stories, and things that happened before my eyes, i saw that there is nothing that i should worry about.
this past week (and a little before that) i was in Bohoc, Haiti with a group from my church. i went to Haiti last year, but but i still did not know what to expect. the area was incredible and mountainous. last year, i fell in love with the coast. this year, i fell in love with the plateau. the way the trip impacted me can be split into three different categories: the way my own thoughts and heart changed, the beauty of the people, and the beauty of my team.
perhaps the largest thing that changed in me this week was my doubt. i have always known i have a hard time dying to myself. the very phrase "dying to yourself" has made me cringe. i have doubted the Holy Spirit's presence in my life and the power that gives. this week definitely taught me that i am actually, through the Holy Spirit, much more capable of dying to myself than i thought. who knew? this week also taught me that God is the Great Provider. i have subconsciously (and consciously) doubted that since i knew what money was and how it worked. through testimonies, stories, and things that happened before my eyes, i saw that there is nothing that i should worry about.
another important thing that happened in my heart was a growing hunger to serve on the mission field. the intern that was with the organization (HAFF) we were working with was an incredible inspiration and help to me. she took me aside and answered my questions and gave recommendations on things i can be doing now to prepare my heart.
finally, i was reminded of the importance of prayer. especially the listening part of prayer. it is so great to be able to talk to God. but it is even better to know that He listens and that He responds.
the Haitian people are so stunning. they have faith in spite of their numerous afflictions. they have joy-so much joy that they seems to spit in the face of their sufferings saying: "look! i have a light you cannot put out!" they really, truly believe that God is on their side. that is an incredible lesson that i have definitely not learned completely. i wish i could describe every person that i met and cultivated relationships with. but that would honestly be a whole novel.
the people that were on the team with me were just breathtakingly beautiful. God did some great things in their hearts and it was so amazing to watch that happen/be apart of it. my youth pastor went and (as usual) it was great to be able to talk with him all week. my associate pastor and his son were on the trip with us. watching them serve together was moving and humbling. they wept over ailing widows and rejoiced with old friends. my dear friend Cara was on the trip with me. she is a beautiful girl with a sweet heart that has been through a lot. it has been hard to watch the hurt, but some healing came this week that i was able to rejoice in. Sam, Brandon, and Jason, (the three other members on our tiny team) were all such joys to get to know and love. i will not forget how surprisingly well we all meshed together.
i guess i should do some summing up. in short, Haiti was black coffee in the morning. it was rain in the afternoons. it was two little girls walking hand-in-hand down a flooded street. it was a woman smiling in the face of death. it was motivation to live more simply. it was incredible love. it was silent prayers for peace and provision. it was the faithful and the broken. it was grace and freedom.
so yeah. debriefing.
finally, i was reminded of the importance of prayer. especially the listening part of prayer. it is so great to be able to talk to God. but it is even better to know that He listens and that He responds.
the Haitian people are so stunning. they have faith in spite of their numerous afflictions. they have joy-so much joy that they seems to spit in the face of their sufferings saying: "look! i have a light you cannot put out!" they really, truly believe that God is on their side. that is an incredible lesson that i have definitely not learned completely. i wish i could describe every person that i met and cultivated relationships with. but that would honestly be a whole novel.
the people that were on the team with me were just breathtakingly beautiful. God did some great things in their hearts and it was so amazing to watch that happen/be apart of it. my youth pastor went and (as usual) it was great to be able to talk with him all week. my associate pastor and his son were on the trip with us. watching them serve together was moving and humbling. they wept over ailing widows and rejoiced with old friends. my dear friend Cara was on the trip with me. she is a beautiful girl with a sweet heart that has been through a lot. it has been hard to watch the hurt, but some healing came this week that i was able to rejoice in. Sam, Brandon, and Jason, (the three other members on our tiny team) were all such joys to get to know and love. i will not forget how surprisingly well we all meshed together.
i guess i should do some summing up. in short, Haiti was black coffee in the morning. it was rain in the afternoons. it was two little girls walking hand-in-hand down a flooded street. it was a woman smiling in the face of death. it was motivation to live more simply. it was incredible love. it was silent prayers for peace and provision. it was the faithful and the broken. it was grace and freedom.
so yeah. debriefing.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
331b
i am sitting on my bed in a room with terribly sad bare walls and one lovely large window.
it's weird to think about missing a room, but i am going to miss 331b.
this semester has been such a full one. i am glad that it's over, but not in the way i have been glad to be done with semesters in the past. i am not glad that it's over because i'm empty of every emotion. i am not glad that it's over because school had become so stressful or such a huge burden. i am mostly glad that it's over because i know that it's time for me to rest and adventure all summer.
i wish i could rightfully describe all that i've learned this semester.
academically, it has been an interesting time. i took my first three-dimensional art classes this semester and they completely changed my artistic process and thinking. i had a professor that truly treated her students like peers (she called us "fellow scholars") and that encouraged me greatly. i fell in love with a language and was inspired greatly by the lilting sounds of french.
personally, i have been so incredibly blessed. i had the wonderful chance to make some new friends that i now love dearly. i will never look at studying in the cave or going to panera on tuesdays or sharing candy in classrooms quite the same. the people i had only really been acquaintances with last semester became people i could cherish. i also experienced what truly caring for someone is like and how that effects my life.
emotionally, i have been the most stable i've been in years. i'm not even kidding. i cried the first day of this year. i felt the weight of the previous few years creeping back into my heart and it startled me. when i got to school, i felt clueless and aimless and was craving for something completely new. that new thing was being happy. granted, there were times where i was tired, stressed, and confused. there were even a few times i was rather sad. regardless, the happy in my life has been steady. and that is a beautiful thing.
spiritually, i have been at peace. i could write a whole book about how peaceful my heart has been this semester, in spite of new things in my life that could make it unsettled. i would say Christ has been my rock, but that just seems so small. so i'll say He has been my mountain. He has surrounded me with His presence and taught me how to accept love and has filled me with peace.
artistically, this has been an incredibly inspiring time. i have been challenged so much that my whole artistic self/style is shifting. and i love it.
all of those things have been thought about in this room. on this bed. next to this window.
usually with a candle burning or music playing or the sound of David's voice telling me something new about himself. yes, it has been a lovely time in this little room. and that's that.
it's weird to think about missing a room, but i am going to miss 331b.
this semester has been such a full one. i am glad that it's over, but not in the way i have been glad to be done with semesters in the past. i am not glad that it's over because i'm empty of every emotion. i am not glad that it's over because school had become so stressful or such a huge burden. i am mostly glad that it's over because i know that it's time for me to rest and adventure all summer.
i wish i could rightfully describe all that i've learned this semester.
academically, it has been an interesting time. i took my first three-dimensional art classes this semester and they completely changed my artistic process and thinking. i had a professor that truly treated her students like peers (she called us "fellow scholars") and that encouraged me greatly. i fell in love with a language and was inspired greatly by the lilting sounds of french.
personally, i have been so incredibly blessed. i had the wonderful chance to make some new friends that i now love dearly. i will never look at studying in the cave or going to panera on tuesdays or sharing candy in classrooms quite the same. the people i had only really been acquaintances with last semester became people i could cherish. i also experienced what truly caring for someone is like and how that effects my life.
emotionally, i have been the most stable i've been in years. i'm not even kidding. i cried the first day of this year. i felt the weight of the previous few years creeping back into my heart and it startled me. when i got to school, i felt clueless and aimless and was craving for something completely new. that new thing was being happy. granted, there were times where i was tired, stressed, and confused. there were even a few times i was rather sad. regardless, the happy in my life has been steady. and that is a beautiful thing.
spiritually, i have been at peace. i could write a whole book about how peaceful my heart has been this semester, in spite of new things in my life that could make it unsettled. i would say Christ has been my rock, but that just seems so small. so i'll say He has been my mountain. He has surrounded me with His presence and taught me how to accept love and has filled me with peace.
artistically, this has been an incredibly inspiring time. i have been challenged so much that my whole artistic self/style is shifting. and i love it.
all of those things have been thought about in this room. on this bed. next to this window.
usually with a candle burning or music playing or the sound of David's voice telling me something new about himself. yes, it has been a lovely time in this little room. and that's that.
Monday, April 22, 2013
forget you
The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether.
-c.s. lewis
lately life has been too beautiful for me to spend much time writing about it. i have been overwhelmed with love, joy, and peace. it's a fairly new thing for me to be consistently happy and the experience has been wonderful so far.
i ran across that quote (above) this morning while welcoming a new week and drinking black coffee. i whispered "oh clive, how true." and furiously underlined it with a marker. the context of the quote is a chapter on Pride in Mere Christianity. Lewis speaks of Pride as the chief vice of man and he says that one who is really aware of Christ's love and grace cannot have an all-consuming Pride.
there is something sort of stunning about that statement. the transforming nature of love is so powerful and real. when we begin to accept and believe that we are loved and wanted by a God who knows absolutely everything about us, our sense of self-worth becomes obsolete. we forget about who we think we should be and all we see is love. this isn't easy. and it's so gradual. but when you get a glimpse of yourself through that filter, it's a strong and beautiful thing that is not easily forgotten.
so yeah, through love comes humility.
isn't that nice?
-c.s. lewis
lately life has been too beautiful for me to spend much time writing about it. i have been overwhelmed with love, joy, and peace. it's a fairly new thing for me to be consistently happy and the experience has been wonderful so far.
i ran across that quote (above) this morning while welcoming a new week and drinking black coffee. i whispered "oh clive, how true." and furiously underlined it with a marker. the context of the quote is a chapter on Pride in Mere Christianity. Lewis speaks of Pride as the chief vice of man and he says that one who is really aware of Christ's love and grace cannot have an all-consuming Pride.
there is something sort of stunning about that statement. the transforming nature of love is so powerful and real. when we begin to accept and believe that we are loved and wanted by a God who knows absolutely everything about us, our sense of self-worth becomes obsolete. we forget about who we think we should be and all we see is love. this isn't easy. and it's so gradual. but when you get a glimpse of yourself through that filter, it's a strong and beautiful thing that is not easily forgotten.
so yeah, through love comes humility.
isn't that nice?
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